• 1 trillion microphones = 1 megaphone
• 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
• 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
• 10 cards = 1 decacards
• 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
• 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
• 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
• 10 rations = 1 decoration
• 10 millipedes = 1 centipede
• 3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
• 10 monologs = 5 dialogues
• 2 monograms = 1 diagram
• 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
• 1/2 large intestine = 1 semicolon
• 1000 aches = 1 kilohertz
• 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
• 2 wharves = 1 paradox

Unit Definitions

• 1 instant: The time required for a photon to cross the nucleus of hydrogen atom
• 1 moment: The time required for a photon to travel from the nucleus of the a water molecule's oxygen atom to the nucleus of one of its hydrogen atoms
• Knot-furlong: Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour
• I.V. League: 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital
• Lite year: 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer
• Billigram: Weight an evangelist carries with God
• Hoarsepower: The amount of energy in a case of laryngitis, divided by the duration of the disease
• Joule: The net energy released when a dragon burns on the Arts Quad
• Bananosecond: Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement